Etiquette, gestures and not causing offence

Most social conventions are forgiving toward visitors. A small number are not, and knowing which is worth twenty minutes.

Greetings

The first interaction and the most variable.

Handshakes vary in firmness and appropriateness, with some cultures preferring a lighter grip and some avoiding contact between men and women who are not related.

Cheek kissing varies in number and in which side first, and applies differently by relationship and by region within a country.

Bowing has its own conventions regarding depth and duration.

The safe approach: observe what others do, follow their lead, and where uncertain, a slight nod and a verbal greeting is acceptable nearly everywhere.

Gestures that differ

Where genuine offence occurs.

Several gestures that are neutral or positive in some countries are obscene in others, including the thumbs up, the circled finger and thumb, and the raised palm.

Beckoning with a single upturned finger is rude in several cultures, where a downward-facing whole hand is used.

Pointing with a finger is impolite in much of Asia, where an open hand or a gesture with the whole hand is preferred.

The practical approach is to gesture less rather than to memorise a list.

Hands and feet

Conventions with clear rules in several regions.

In much of South Asia, the Middle East and Africa, the left hand is not used for eating, for giving or for receiving.

Giving and receiving with both hands is polite in much of East Asia.

Feet are considered unclean in much of Asia, which means not pointing them at people or at religious images, not stepping over someone, and removing shoes where indicated.

Touching someone's head is inappropriate in several Buddhist cultures, including with children.

At the table

Conventions that vary substantially.

Whether to finish everything, which in some cultures indicates satisfaction and in others suggests the host provided insufficient food.

Whether refusing an offer once is polite before accepting, which is expected in several cultures.

Chopstick conventions, including not standing them upright in rice, which resembles a funeral practice in several East Asian cultures.

Whether to pour your own drink, which in Japan and Korea is generally done for others rather than for oneself.

And whether to arrive punctually or late, which differs enormously and where getting it wrong in either direction is noticed.

Dress

Where the largest practical differences are.

Religious sites, covered elsewhere on this site.

General standards in conservative societies, which apply in public rather than only in religious contexts.

Beachwear away from beaches, which is inappropriate in a great many places including in Europe.

And formality expectations, which are higher in many countries than casual visitors assume.

Subjects and conduct

Points of general caution.

Political topics, particularly regarding the country you are in, its neighbours or its history, which can be genuinely sensitive and occasionally legally risky.

Photography of people, of government buildings and of military installations, discussed elsewhere on this site.

Public displays of affection, which range from unremarkable to illegal.

Alcohol consumption, which is restricted or prohibited in several countries and regions.

Volume, since what constitutes normal conversational volume differs and visitors are frequently noticeably loud.

The legal dimension

Worth separating from etiquette.

Several things that are matters of manners in one country are criminal offences in another — public intoxication, certain gestures, criticism of a head of state, importing particular medications or publications, and consensual conduct between adults.

Government travel advice pages set out the specific legal risks for each country, and reading them for the destination is worth the fifteen minutes.

The general principle

Which covers most situations.

Observe before acting. Follow what local people do. Err toward formality and modesty. Apologise readily if you get something wrong, which nearly everyone accepts graciously.

And accept that you will make mistakes, which visitors do everywhere, and which is generally forgiven where the effort to do otherwise is evident.

Photography of people

Worth repeating here because it is the most common source of offence.

Asking first is the convention nearly everywhere, and in several cultures photographing someone without permission is a substantial discourtesy rather than a minor one.

Children in particular should not be photographed without a parent's agreement.

And in some communities photography is objected to on religious grounds, which should be respected without argument.